How to Write Killer Copy: Help Me Break the Code

They work in every organization. No security agency has been able to discover how they infiltrate. They look like other employees. They are hard workers. But somehow or another, they have been compromised by I. M. Vague. My intelligence operatives have only been able to pick up a few personality traits. His profile is Screwtape meets Gordon Gekko.

He calls these employees his mala lingua scriptores.

(The best translation is “boring copywriters”)

Trust me, we’ve rescued enough of these former slaves to know they don’t want to be malum. They want to be unicum. I. M. Vague must drug them or implant devices into their right brains.

My best operative intercepted a top secret document. I have presented it below. These are their marching orders. Just reading them makes me shudder. There is a code next to every statement. I’m positive that if I can break the code, I can set more of these mala lingua scriptores free and bring I. M. Vague to justice.

†BLOW YOUR LEAD: TSOTA

†MISS YOUR AUDIENCE: FR:KYA

†BE GENERIC: KDUYHU (solved: see the solution here.)

†INSULT THE READER’S INTELLIGENCE: CTI

†JUST ENGAGE THE MIND: TTEAFS (solved: see the solution here.)

†FORGET EMOTION: MEFE

†GLUE THEM TO THE COUCH: PTL

†BLINDFOLD THE READER: TASBATATI, P, OS

†BE APATHETIC: ATQ:SW

†DISCOURAGE: I

I will work on the code today and publish whatever portion I’ve broken by 3pm CT. Why don’t you subscribe to my blog so you won’t miss the solution?

Remember, at the end of May, I will choose three commenters at random

to receive a free copy of Wizards, Hobbits, and Harry Potter.